Life has been so busy lately, not that it was less hectic before. I simply choose to spend my “free” time going out with friends, catching up with my tivo preset recordings, browse the web and shop online — obviously … Or simply relax by the fire place, basically doing nothing.
My family has undergone major change since I last wrote. I definitely have a lot of material to blog about.. For today, let’s began with the fact that my daughter has been sleeping in her own bedroom for the first time last week. My husband found time to purchase a gate to place at her door ( after talking with a beautiful friend of mine who had done the same with her older son and feeling this would suit our household, I finally took the plunge ). The same day he came home with it, I made arrangements in her bedroom, baby proofing or more like extra baby proofing to insure her safety. Especially during the night, when we are sleeping in case she would wake up and decide to not “notify” us and “explore”.
We have bought this motorola camera, I can see and hear her from my monitor. I also keep it on my nightside table during the night. It makes me feel closer to her. I know it is only been a week, surly in the future I won’t feel the need to have it on all night, or maybe I will this is also very new for me too… — btw I would absolutely recommend this device to any new parents ! If there is anything we've actually used above all the other “stuff” we have spent thousands of euros on, this has the be the best buy we've ever made — that is, if you're into these kind of gadgets.
As some of you may know, I've mention it quite a few time in previous posts. I've been co-sleeping with my daughter since birth. She’s been sleeping at night in her own crib since she began crawling for safety reasons but as soon I went to bed and if she’d woke up I would take her into our bed to nurse her on demand until she was a year then she slept all night without nursing her and woke up very rarely. I then, only took her in our bed in the morning around 0630 until 0930 when we got up for breakfast. This was a gradual evolution based on my daughter needs which worked perfectly for us, until a few weeks ago…
You can only imagine how much this was a dramatic change this was for her, was equally for me. Huge milestone ! We both kept on waking up during the first night which I guess is pretty normal for dealing with such a different environment. Overall, she did really well sleeping alone in a room. I, on the other hand kept waking up at every sound ready to kick off the duvet which I did, twice. Waking up the hubby in frantic manners. I did not go once in her bedroom during the night, she woke up 2-3 times, got out of bed cried for less then a minute at her door and went ba\. In the morning when she was ready to come in our bed like every other morning she went to her door and asked to be picked up, which she didn't do during the night.. I thought she understood the concept and I did the right thing.
I believe that while setting up her room and her bed she should be “involved” in the process and spend time with us while finalising her cozy little space ( we did most of the hard work while she was asleep ). We played, lay in her bed together, sat in her teepee, read books and did a diaper change. This room, her room, she barely spent anytime in it… We made it so beautiful and warm yet “little that I knew” — I wanted to do the co-sleeping and nursing “thing” I had no clue how it would all come together — she would be “living” in our bedroom for over a year and a half. The most precious time I've lived with her so far as a mother.
I will always remember the first night we slept together. I kept waking up to make sure this wasn't a dream that she was truly beside me. I never in anyway was uncomfortable or afraid of her safety it simply felt organic to me and that’s the way it should feel if you ever want to C.S as well. The reason why I have decided to make some change towards our sleeping habits is because I felt my daughter was ready for a change.. I felt she wanted to have a little more autonomy. If it was up to me she’d be sleeping with me for the rest of my life — obsessive much ?! I know better and I know she needs to grow and thrive on her own — She was kicking the bars of her crib whenever I placed her to sleep and cried every time for 10 minutes in average. She was holding on to me and wouldn't let go when it was bedtime. I thought, sleeping shouldn't be so upsetting. Getting some rest should be something to look for… I know it is something I look forward too !! Maybe it isn't like this for kids DUH !.. I do remember myself, I hated nap time or to go to bed period. But at least if I had the ability of going in and out as I please I would feel much less “gated”. Of course, she is still “gated” but in a larger environment. She has more freedom. When I say “gated” we can all understand this it is for the safety of the child according to their ages to be in gated crib, room or play area.
Needless to say when bedtime comes, I let her walked herself to bed, she does cry and whine a little but she had the freedom to take herself to bed. There was no kicking or holding on to me like her life depended upon it. I think toddlers crave autonomy. They love to be trusted with “simple” age appropriate tasks — to not overwhelm them — and to feel that they are accomplishing something new. Everyday, we both become a little more accustom to this new sleeping arrangement. She is so much more "happy" about going to rest and sleeps longer as well. Eventually, I will remove the gate from her bedroom and place it in the hallway in such way that she cannot go wonder in the house. Once she will wake up in the morning she will simply come directly to our bedroom, climb into our bed where I will nurse her and sleep together for a few more hours. Or so I hope…
BZM