I think that one of the hardest thing in regards of motherhood has to be a constant positive leader. I always knew I would struggle with setting limits, boundaries and to do so assertively. Finding balance while being positive and not being permissive isn't as easy as it sounds… At least for me.
Setting limits is something I find challenging. The worst part of not doing so with “appropriate” manners is always ending up with me loosing my temper, my daughter being upset, not getting the message across and of course me having feeling of regrets and failure - the worst -. One thing I do right when I have messed up (aka. not be the adult) is I always communicate with my child, and more so, apologies to her. Which to some this may sound weak but I believe in building a healthy relationship and to do so I feel I should treat her with nothing less than respect as I would with any other human being.
One thing I know for sure, is I don’t want my daughter to fear me. I do not want her to feel like she can walk all over me either. It’s unhealthy for both of us and no ones gain from such situations. Nothing good comes easy and nothing easy will last. I want my child to thrive in a positive environment while knowing she can count on me as a mentor in guidance towards her goals however big or small they may be.
“Being a positive leader does not by any means to be permissive”. Probably one of the most challenging quote I’ve ever read. I believe in constant work in progress as this is, for most of you know my first try at being a mother. I have yet to found the right elements and the balance within all. I think it would be too easy to drop the ball - not that this is even an option laid out on the table - The repercussions would be dramatic and the loss would be beyond words, after all were talking about the life of a human being. I most certainly have good moments where I feel satisfied others, not so. #mumlife
In the end what matters most is that we keep trying our best with all the unconditional love we have for our child. One thing I understood is that were all going to loose our temper, we all have felt at some point we weren't up to the challenge and I think anyone who disagree is either fooling themselves or in complete denial.
Being honest towards our self and our loved ones is one thing - not always easy - but to do so publicly is somehow harder for me, quite frankly it should be the opposite. It is not related with what strangers will think of me, more so, with my personality. It comes more easy to open up about serious matters in private. I guess having a public blog about motherhood will challenge this aspect of who I am, since I write from personal experiences and lets be honest “mumhood” can get messy. This is one of the reason why it took me a long time to update my page. I was starring at my mac, knowing I should complete my post but was uncomfortable with the idea of doing so and sharing my struggle.
So, here I am.. Mum of a unique daughter of almost two, with the will of an army of bull, with a sense of humour and charisma that everyone love to rejoice from. First time mum to a wonderful child that has reach the age of testing boundaries - and I mean every day - and all the books I've read cannot really always help me go through a tantrum. It help me understand needless to say and definitely help me empathise with my daughter. But in the end, all its left is you, your character and your child with its own personality.
To conclude this post I’d like to say that we should drop our judgements and stand tall together in the beautiful yet chaotic life of mothers, guides and teachers to our children. Because truthfully we are all trying to do our best.
Beezeemum