The main event that kicked off this new pursuit of love in parenthood began one day as I was having a conversation with my husband “among many which are most likely resulting of me having epiphanies” - thank’s hubby :).
I realised that I have been raised with fear. Not in the sense to be in fear for my life but in the way of viewing information I was given or more so not given. For example, I was led to believe if I did not hung up the phone it would call the police and they would show to my home. I was taught to never swallow bubblegum as it would remain in my stomach. Countless time I was “threaten” or “blackmailed”. If you do not eat all your food you won’t have dessert. If you don't do your room you will not go out and so on.. Again, this is not a post to bash the hard work that was put in to make me become who I am today. Rather a new approach. Needless to say how can you be upset or vindictive towards people who did not know better. To be raised with fear you do not value or respect your parents you fear them which also can become a result of psychological issues later in life.
How to become the one who spread love instead of fear ? Simply my beautiful readers by educating yourself. If you do not know the explanation lying isn't the answer. When we choose love over fear we do not need force our children to “have one last bite” of their meal or to tell make-believe in order to get what we want. We should respect their choices and love them for who they are not who we want them to be. There truly is so many ways to approach our children regarding everything we want to communicate with positive, loving, honest, selfless avenues.
Compassion and understanding plays a huge part. To approach this parenting mentality you should adopt a new base and start anew. Clear you mind from thinking that kids are bad, that they just want to get on your last nerve. To see them as hole human being, little humans that have yet to learn how to deal with emotions and express it the way we do.
If your friend was crying would you tell her to stop, to leave or would you give her the time and attention she or he needs while in distress or hurt. If this same friend - who apparently is have a bad day - accidentally broke your vase that meant so much to you. Would you make her feel worst about her involuntary mistake ? Or simply clean the mess and let her know at many occasion it is okay - since you know, understand she already feels bad for her misstep. How would you react if your toddler ran through the house ( as countless time you have contraindicated ) broke the same vase you cherish dearly ? Probably let a few angry words out mixed with guilt and send him or her to his room. You see, same situation we completely react or overreact different ways based on who did it because we do not see children as valuable as adults.
I am not stating we need to start treating kids as grownups with adult behaviours but we should see them, their emotions, feeling and voices as valuable as we would with a full grown peers. Because they are fare more worthy of our forgivingness, because being empathetic teaches them to be in return. Lastly because they need up the most, we are their roles models.
Beezeemum
How to become the one who spread love instead of fear ? Simply my beautiful readers by educating yourself. If you do not know the explanation lying isn't the answer. When we choose love over fear we do not need force our children to “have one last bite” of their meal or to tell make-believe in order to get what we want. We should respect their choices and love them for who they are not who we want them to be. There truly is so many ways to approach our children regarding everything we want to communicate with positive, loving, honest, selfless avenues.
Compassion and understanding plays a huge part. To approach this parenting mentality you should adopt a new base and start anew. Clear you mind from thinking that kids are bad, that they just want to get on your last nerve. To see them as hole human being, little humans that have yet to learn how to deal with emotions and express it the way we do.
If your friend was crying would you tell her to stop, to leave or would you give her the time and attention she or he needs while in distress or hurt. If this same friend - who apparently is have a bad day - accidentally broke your vase that meant so much to you. Would you make her feel worst about her involuntary mistake ? Or simply clean the mess and let her know at many occasion it is okay - since you know, understand she already feels bad for her misstep. How would you react if your toddler ran through the house ( as countless time you have contraindicated ) broke the same vase you cherish dearly ? Probably let a few angry words out mixed with guilt and send him or her to his room. You see, same situation we completely react or overreact different ways based on who did it because we do not see children as valuable as adults.
I am not stating we need to start treating kids as grownups with adult behaviours but we should see them, their emotions, feeling and voices as valuable as we would with a full grown peers. Because they are fare more worthy of our forgivingness, because being empathetic teaches them to be in return. Lastly because they need up the most, we are their roles models.
Beezeemum