I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how should I should write this post, because in anyway do I want to sound ungrateful. I simply want to share how life as a mother has changed everything for me. I remember asking my mum when she came to visit for christmas while I was pregnant “will my life really change that much?”. I guess she didn't want to freak the hell out of me, she simply said of course some things will change. In hindsight I am grateful she responded the way she did because had she told me everything I now know I’d probably have had a panic attack.
My house is constantly filled with crumbs although I vacuum twice daily - on a good day where I am home and I've got time for it - lets be honest ! There is always clothes in the laundry to wash. Even though I do laundry pretty much every day.
Cooking has become a wrestling battle between my legs, where my daughter always wants to be. Meals are often eaten cold - who am I kidding - they are always cold since I always feed her first. I often rather lay on the sofa at night catch up with social media or watch my pre-recorded shows then take a shower - not to worry my hygiene isn't suffering. I end up bathing right before I go the sleep with my eyes half closed. I have been trying to watch a documentary on youtube for a week now, when I go to bed on my laptop. I always fall asleep and I think Ill never learn the conspiracy theory by Adam Green.
Fixing my hair has become quite random, I use to blow dry them and then straight or curl them well I have figured you can go to bed with a wet head and wake up with nice wavy bed head. On rare occasion I will find time when she is asleep and use my irons to make my hair silky smooth - what a treat ! I do nonetheless fix my makeup, I do my best to do it everyday. My vanity routine has drastically changed and reduce it self in time. I never knew I could do so much in so little time !!
Clean surfaces are simply a thing of the past. It bluntly ceased to occur in my existence. No matter how often I clean them up. I haven't given up - yet. But I constantly am wiping. My house is filled with toys and yet my daughter rather go in my closet and play with my expensive bags, my makeup, brushes and what was once neatly folded under-garments. I now spend the night in rather then out. By choice, needless to say. Of course, there is the occasional "date night" with my bubs and the more scarce “girls night out”. By 11pm I'm pretty much ready for bed but I always try to stretch it until 1 am because I think I need more time for myself and always end up regretting it in the morning. Will I ever learn ?!
My windows and mirrors are covered with saliva and fingerprints just seconds after cleaning them. It’s like my daughter has a sensor for marking her territory, she see’s me washing one of them and you can bet she will be right behind me once I am done, to insure her beautiful little hands are all over it. I’ve never imagine wanting to look someone who is asleep more than actually sleeping myself. I swear, if she wasn't my daughter someone would think I have a stalking problem.
We do however travel as often as we want. I love traveling with my little one and that was my biggest fear to not be able to see the world and be forced to stay home. I am so blessed to have a daughter who - so far - doesn't mind to tag along through our long traveling journeys. As for all the things I've mentioned above, I am aware none of it will last and I think this also makes me want to enjoy more... After all your only a kid once !
You may think I have lost my mind but all of this actually brings me so much joy. I wake up every - or almost - morning so happy, energised - I don't know where this comes from with less then 5 hours sleep - I am so deeply thankful I get to do it all over again and maybe twice during the day ! Having a kid may be the hardest thing, well actually I think raising one is the hardest because anyone can have a kid. But being there with her everyday and see her grow, I wouldn't change a thing !
Wishing Everyone Merry Christmas & Happy New Year !
Beezeemum