I began to write this post about five days ago with a much more depressing tone as I was diagnosed with Mastitis, I had very strong fever, body aches and pains, very few hours of sleep and the fear of potentially having to stop breastfeeding.
As I felt a little better each day I kept writing and adding paragraph to my text to finally deliver my thoughts on memories. Our lives are filled with them. I stop myself from drowning in my misery to remind me that nothing last, that in a couple of months this will all be part of my past, that no matter the outcome I should come out of this stronger and wiser. Life doesn't throw anything your way that you cannot handle.
When I knew I had this condition, I couldn't help but stop thinking of this amazing woman I follow on Instagram who had twins and exclusively pumped her milk because she had mastitis — for a hole year. I raised my hat to her ! The power of will and love a mother can have will push through everything, just to provide her kids with the best. It baffles me, how much we can move mountains for our children, for love.
I am generally quite optimistic and positive person but when my health took a hit everything seemed much more dark. I couldn't play and take care the way I became accustom to with my little one. Even more so when it involved the slight chance of abruptly stopping nursing, if you're a breastfeeding mum — or have been, you know exactly the feeling. The connection with our babies is so powerful we become so emotionally attached. We don’t want to be forced to stop on other conditions then our own will.
Motherhood is filled with surprises. From pregnancy moving forward we are subject to countless ups and down, expectations and doubts, laughter and cries, pain and wellbeing, sickness and health, sleepless nights and rejuvenating naps, successful un-splattered meals to abstract food art splattered on the wall and floor. All of it, the good, the bad is nothing less than a blessing because it creates memories. Memories aren't based on what was said or what was done but what was felt. Feelings, emotions are what remain through all the years. This is what memories are made of.
The moment I first bonded skin to skin with my daughter felt as if the world had stopped, where everything in space of time was holding still. A magical moment.
The unsuccessful time I tried to latch my daughter for the first time — a lot of tears where shed and the emotion felt was “complete failure” followed by tears of joy and relief for being successful at our third attempt. The ride home from the clinic felt to me like time had moved too quickly as if I had shut my eyes for a millisecond and we where pulling into our driveway — it may have been the exhaustion or coming off the meds from a C-cut since we lived 45 minutes from where I gave birth. Her first bump on the head felt as my soul had left my body, leaving me with painful sensations, I did cried with her. We both felt sadness and pain. Looking back in was also a blissful moment, because we shared something.
Sharing is also a very important factor in life. Not only by sharing in the materialistic sense but for people to take part in a memory, we must feel together. Whether we are viewing a film and laughing together or witnessing a beautiful moment that brings us joy and happiness it is the people who we are surrounding ourselves with that are part of our feelings forever.
I wish for my daughter to look back on her childhood and remember good feelings, for her to have beautiful memories. Like all the mums out there, I want to insure the best environment for my little girl to thrive. I know she is “too young” to remember — consciously — the “right now” and every so often my husband tells me when we observe our daughter play or when we share a moment with her : “Can you believe we don't remember anything of this”. His earliest memories are when he was 4yrs of age as for me, I only have bits and pieces from certain events that took place but I couldn't say how old I was. I know that when I was in third grade I had to do a big move from the town where all my family resided to a 5hours drive new city where I knew no one. I can remember how I felt and other episodes of my life but only pieces. Strange I know, I am a odd ball :)
What remains is what we feel and sometimes if were lucky, we can associate it with a smell, a sound or a place. No matter what or how we were raised to think, parents do have such a enormous impact on their children. We help them create memories that will impact them for the rest of their lives. We should want to leave a feeling of wellbeing, love, kindness for our kids because one day when all we will be is a memory, what matters the most is how we made people feel.
Beezeemum
When I knew I had this condition, I couldn't help but stop thinking of this amazing woman I follow on Instagram who had twins and exclusively pumped her milk because she had mastitis — for a hole year. I raised my hat to her ! The power of will and love a mother can have will push through everything, just to provide her kids with the best. It baffles me, how much we can move mountains for our children, for love.
I am generally quite optimistic and positive person but when my health took a hit everything seemed much more dark. I couldn't play and take care the way I became accustom to with my little one. Even more so when it involved the slight chance of abruptly stopping nursing, if you're a breastfeeding mum — or have been, you know exactly the feeling. The connection with our babies is so powerful we become so emotionally attached. We don’t want to be forced to stop on other conditions then our own will.
Motherhood is filled with surprises. From pregnancy moving forward we are subject to countless ups and down, expectations and doubts, laughter and cries, pain and wellbeing, sickness and health, sleepless nights and rejuvenating naps, successful un-splattered meals to abstract food art splattered on the wall and floor. All of it, the good, the bad is nothing less than a blessing because it creates memories. Memories aren't based on what was said or what was done but what was felt. Feelings, emotions are what remain through all the years. This is what memories are made of.
The moment I first bonded skin to skin with my daughter felt as if the world had stopped, where everything in space of time was holding still. A magical moment.
The unsuccessful time I tried to latch my daughter for the first time — a lot of tears where shed and the emotion felt was “complete failure” followed by tears of joy and relief for being successful at our third attempt. The ride home from the clinic felt to me like time had moved too quickly as if I had shut my eyes for a millisecond and we where pulling into our driveway — it may have been the exhaustion or coming off the meds from a C-cut since we lived 45 minutes from where I gave birth. Her first bump on the head felt as my soul had left my body, leaving me with painful sensations, I did cried with her. We both felt sadness and pain. Looking back in was also a blissful moment, because we shared something.
Sharing is also a very important factor in life. Not only by sharing in the materialistic sense but for people to take part in a memory, we must feel together. Whether we are viewing a film and laughing together or witnessing a beautiful moment that brings us joy and happiness it is the people who we are surrounding ourselves with that are part of our feelings forever.
I wish for my daughter to look back on her childhood and remember good feelings, for her to have beautiful memories. Like all the mums out there, I want to insure the best environment for my little girl to thrive. I know she is “too young” to remember — consciously — the “right now” and every so often my husband tells me when we observe our daughter play or when we share a moment with her : “Can you believe we don't remember anything of this”. His earliest memories are when he was 4yrs of age as for me, I only have bits and pieces from certain events that took place but I couldn't say how old I was. I know that when I was in third grade I had to do a big move from the town where all my family resided to a 5hours drive new city where I knew no one. I can remember how I felt and other episodes of my life but only pieces. Strange I know, I am a odd ball :)
What remains is what we feel and sometimes if were lucky, we can associate it with a smell, a sound or a place. No matter what or how we were raised to think, parents do have such a enormous impact on their children. We help them create memories that will impact them for the rest of their lives. We should want to leave a feeling of wellbeing, love, kindness for our kids because one day when all we will be is a memory, what matters the most is how we made people feel.
Beezeemum