I have completed three highly recommended books on how to deal with toddlers facing tantrums or any situations requiring discipline, acknowledgements and guidance our child may need.I can say that nothing has been more clear to me, I’ve decided to share with you my understanding from all these very interesting read in 20 resumed “simple” steps.
When it comes to raising children nothing is easy but with the proper will and intentions we can only accomplish great things. Drama-free discipline does not guaranty that we will never have to face arguments with our children, it provides us with knowledge and understanding on how their brains are developing and how to approach any situations without escalating it but rather to soothe, connect and redirect.
- We should never take our children’s negative emotions personal, it is in fact a way for them to ask our help, to be teach, to be shown what we expect of them.
- Toddlerhood is a time for our kids to test boundaries.
- We must redirect/discipline them with affirmative, loving, caring and nonchalant manners.
- Toddlers, infants and babies are human beings. we must treat them with dignity.
- If a child is constantly repeating an action or a behaviour that we are objecting, it is a sign that we are not being clear, we are most likely not projecting loving, matter-of-fact, constant leadership they need. We may be getting emotional, running low on patience which they can easily pick up with their 6th sense.
- Toddler are craving independence, giving them options and choices can easily move a situation from a potential tantrum to communicative and respectful exchange between parent and child.
- Children need limits and boundaries to thrive.
- A child should be living in a household where all feelings are welcome, allowed and respected.
- Discipline isn't related to punishment. To discipline your toddler means to connect with their feelings, acknowledge them and once we've establish that we and our child are ready, we can then move to discipline by redirecting and teaching.
- When a child is acting out it is often related to being overwhelm, tired, hungry, overstimulated or feeling neglected/unloved.
- Toddlers are growing at a fast rate, they need us to feel safe, connected and loved no matter how they may be feeling or treating us.
- Our love shall be unconditional.
- Clarity, balance and consistency is what makes us great gentle leaders.
- Parenting is about developing a relationship with another person.
- Creating a honest, organic and healthy bond is based upon our actions.
- Manipulating, tricking or lying to get our way does not pay off.
- Never undermine a child emotions, however illogical or dramatic they may seem.
- Time outs and punishments of any kind will not help your child evolve or understand the reason he was put in the first place. Every tantrum is an opportunity for us to teach.
- Being empathetic, kind and loving is key to connecting with our kids.
- And lastly, we are all bound to loose our temper but we should not ignore our missteps. Acknowledging and sharing our error to our kids goes a long way.
If I could add one more it would be to remind ourselves that we are the adults and we should behave accordingly. If you are interested in learning or educating yourselves in dept I highly recommend to read all 3 ! I have linked all the books below you can purchase them on Amazon or iTunes. I love a good old hard copy but being away from home it was easier to get them online.
- Elevating child care - Janet Lansbury
- No bad kids - Janet Lansbury
- No drama discipline - Daniel J. Seigel & Tina Payne Bryson
BZM