“It seems that the beginning of my learning on acknowledging babies and children emotions happen at a crucial turning point in my relationship with my daughter.”
I began like any other breastfeeding mother the process of slowly weaning which went very well. At 13 months, I stopped the night feeding, after only one night of her waking up (as per habit). I simply put her back to sleep without nursing her and we were down to two sessions per day. One at night and one in the morning. Everything went smooth from there. Or so I thought..
I began like any other breastfeeding mother the process of slowly weaning which went very well. At 13 months, I stopped the night feeding, after only one night of her waking up (as per habit). I simply put her back to sleep without nursing her and we were down to two sessions per day. One at night and one in the morning. Everything went smooth from there. Or so I thought..
At times, when she would feel the need to connect and latch in the afternoon I never refused. They were so rare, it did not made me feel tired or overly needed. I enjoyed it.
After a couples months of being in our household it was time to pack and leave for our home away from home. For one reason to an other my daughter and I flew together to join my husband and so during the 7 hours trans-pacific she ended up being latch for most of the flight. Having her close to me and falling asleep with my breast in her mouth seem like the right thing to do to keep her sound asleep for many hours. – Who wants to hear a baby cry, even so less on a plane. Our flight went well and we joined my hubby to began our 3 months journey.
Three weeks into the month I started noticing that she was more aware of where “milk” was and she began demanding “it” at anytime during the day and night. It became a little overwhelming and tiresome for me and her. Not sleeping through the night is something new for her since she’s always had good sleep routine. I – at many occasion simply gave in, either picked her up from her crib to nurse her back to sleep or gave her my breast during the day when she was feeling cranky (2 to 3x daily).
A crying baby at any time of day and night was putting pressure on me and my husband. So more often then rarely I gave in which has come to a point of excess and extreme fatigue for me my baby and my hubby. – I am completely aware that children/babies need to express their feelings and at no point did I ever didn’t give my daughter the space and time to do so. That it why I mentioned in the introduction my learning on how to cope with such situation, clearly came at a turning point in our lives.
In four days prior to this event I completed the book of Janet Lansbury – Elevating Child Care and began my second book on No drama-discipline by Dr. Dan Seigle & Tina Payne Bryson which also use the same based regarding RIE and allowing our kids to let their emotions run free without diminishing them with judgement and show compassion, understanding and showing empathy with unconditional love. Not having all the tools to cope with her feelings. Having compressed and being raised to not acknowledge my own was probably the way I would have raised her.
Without RIE, it would have escalated to a far more difficult tantrum. I can say that my first opportunity to really use this technic during tantrum – I say technic but its far more than this – it is a way of living and seeing our children as hole human being, – powerful stuff I tell you – turned out to be was far more difficult that I had imagined. By difficult I mean to way she was pouring her tears and heart out, broke mine so hard. I felt compelled to truly be there for her and understand her pain and frustration, acknowledge it. Show complete pure love and talk slowly to her saying things like “ I can see how hurt and upset you are” “I know how hard this must be for you” “ I am here for you” So that we allow frustration, give verbal support, let go of results and move on.. This truly works.
I am baffled with the way things turns out. We connected to a deeper level we have ever been. I have been co sleeping & baby wearing since day one. I have the luxury of being at home with her 24/7 and I was nursing on demand. What I mean is, we do have a very strong bond. This connection we had overwhelmed me with such beautiful feelings. The feeling of understanding her and being, truly being there for her through it, instead of fighting against her I was there for her. A true partnership.
She finally fell asleep holding my hand and I was sitting next to her feeling her pain going slowly away and her breathing still rushing from her cries my heart wanted to explode. Being a mom is truly the most difficult yet oh so rewarding accomplishment anyone can have* (be)*.
I am using RIE in our commun daily life with her, I am still learning.
These books, these people who have understood that childhood and babyhood is not something we swipe under the rug is simply fantastic. It truly sync with who I am what kind of mother I want to be and what kind of children I want to raise. Thank you to my beautiful friend D.G for introducing me to Janet’s books over our countless beautiful conversations during our family summer vacay in Greece. I am forever grateful.
BeeZeeMum
After a couples months of being in our household it was time to pack and leave for our home away from home. For one reason to an other my daughter and I flew together to join my husband and so during the 7 hours trans-pacific she ended up being latch for most of the flight. Having her close to me and falling asleep with my breast in her mouth seem like the right thing to do to keep her sound asleep for many hours. – Who wants to hear a baby cry, even so less on a plane. Our flight went well and we joined my hubby to began our 3 months journey.
Three weeks into the month I started noticing that she was more aware of where “milk” was and she began demanding “it” at anytime during the day and night. It became a little overwhelming and tiresome for me and her. Not sleeping through the night is something new for her since she’s always had good sleep routine. I – at many occasion simply gave in, either picked her up from her crib to nurse her back to sleep or gave her my breast during the day when she was feeling cranky (2 to 3x daily).
A crying baby at any time of day and night was putting pressure on me and my husband. So more often then rarely I gave in which has come to a point of excess and extreme fatigue for me my baby and my hubby. – I am completely aware that children/babies need to express their feelings and at no point did I ever didn’t give my daughter the space and time to do so. That it why I mentioned in the introduction my learning on how to cope with such situation, clearly came at a turning point in our lives.
In four days prior to this event I completed the book of Janet Lansbury – Elevating Child Care and began my second book on No drama-discipline by Dr. Dan Seigle & Tina Payne Bryson which also use the same based regarding RIE and allowing our kids to let their emotions run free without diminishing them with judgement and show compassion, understanding and showing empathy with unconditional love. Not having all the tools to cope with her feelings. Having compressed and being raised to not acknowledge my own was probably the way I would have raised her.
Without RIE, it would have escalated to a far more difficult tantrum. I can say that my first opportunity to really use this technic during tantrum – I say technic but its far more than this – it is a way of living and seeing our children as hole human being, – powerful stuff I tell you – turned out to be was far more difficult that I had imagined. By difficult I mean to way she was pouring her tears and heart out, broke mine so hard. I felt compelled to truly be there for her and understand her pain and frustration, acknowledge it. Show complete pure love and talk slowly to her saying things like “ I can see how hurt and upset you are” “I know how hard this must be for you” “ I am here for you” So that we allow frustration, give verbal support, let go of results and move on.. This truly works.
I am baffled with the way things turns out. We connected to a deeper level we have ever been. I have been co sleeping & baby wearing since day one. I have the luxury of being at home with her 24/7 and I was nursing on demand. What I mean is, we do have a very strong bond. This connection we had overwhelmed me with such beautiful feelings. The feeling of understanding her and being, truly being there for her through it, instead of fighting against her I was there for her. A true partnership.
She finally fell asleep holding my hand and I was sitting next to her feeling her pain going slowly away and her breathing still rushing from her cries my heart wanted to explode. Being a mom is truly the most difficult yet oh so rewarding accomplishment anyone can have* (be)*.
I am using RIE in our commun daily life with her, I am still learning.
These books, these people who have understood that childhood and babyhood is not something we swipe under the rug is simply fantastic. It truly sync with who I am what kind of mother I want to be and what kind of children I want to raise. Thank you to my beautiful friend D.G for introducing me to Janet’s books over our countless beautiful conversations during our family summer vacay in Greece. I am forever grateful.
BeeZeeMum