Our journey into co-sleeping began long before my daughter was born. I knew I needed to get as much information as possible to pursue my desire of bonding through the night in a safe environment for my child and I.
I knew co-sleeping was for us because I have come to term with the understanding of our ancestors and the nature of motherhood. The way things used to be. Pure, simple, organic and honest. Before all the extras to facilitate parenthood we were more connected with our children. How did mother’s living in the wild survived with their offspring ? Most people when told this question will respond with the following answer : “we are not living in jungles anymore, we have evolved and we do not have to fight for our children and ourselves to survive.” Which in someway is accurate, although if we look at the big picture, observe nature and the evolution of mankind we have not “evolved” as much as we’d like to think. The strongest always prevails and the weakest fails. Without getting too far from topic and getting in too deep in my philosophy of life let’s simply reflect on the following: Whatever we do for our children, are we doing it because it’s convenient for us or for their best interest ?
Of course a mother who isn't comfortable with bed sharing, who will not be able to sleep well at night shouldn't co-sleep. It is important to understand that co-sleeping isn't define by how many hours you sleep with your little ones. It can be done once a day during the afternoon nap or once a week in the morning, all depends on what feels right for you. What matters the most is that you bond with your babies.
On a related subject, I remember seeing bottle-fed babies when I was much younger — in the 90’s where mothers prompted the bottle up with a blanket so it remain in place. Being a nursing mother I completely respect and understand mothers who choose for a reason to an other to bottle-feed their kids but what I would personally do if I couldn't breastfeed where bonding comes naturally, is connecting during feeding time. I think babies need skin to skin and feel connected specially during the time that they are being fed. They need to be talked too, gently caressed, they need to feel loved and cared for.
The problem with society in regards to co-sleeping is that we are given a lot of false information. I remember seeing somewhere that bed sharing is the main cause of SIDS which is completely wrong. It isn't bed sharing that can cause SIDS but the environment you are doing it. The rules are simple, you should not co-sleep if you're a smoker, it goes without saying that you should never smoke in the room where you sleep with your baby, drinking alcohol and co-sleeping is a big no no ! Also babies should always sleep in the middle. You should insure the bed frame is safe for your child as to not fall into spaces between the mattress and headboard and lastly you should sleep with small covers, no duvet.
Living in Greece, people look down on co-sleeping, most see it as spoiling my child and others see’s it as a burden because she will always want to come and cuddle at night or in the morning. Spoiling isn't an issue for me as I have blogged before on the subject “you cannot spoil your child with love” and as for being a burden, I take joy in her presence because sooner rather then later she will be all grown up, she will leave our home to live her life or go to sleepovers, so I take every little moment I can and cherish it.
I remember my second day at the clinic. First of all I insisted on having my daughter with me at all time — they must of asked me at least five time if they could take her to allow me to rest. I can say I've had a quite easy delivery therefor it was natural for me to want her with me and it was not in my intention to go home to than realize what it intel to have a baby. I gathered that I should learn at the clinic where I could have professional help if needed be. So anyways, it was late afternoon and I fell asleep nursing with my daughter in my arms, the nurse came in horror. She woke me up as if I had committed the worst offence a mother can commit and schooled me on how my baby could have fallen on the floor because I was sleeping. As if I would ever smother or drop my precious little girl, it goes against nature and common sense. How is it that when we sleep in our bed we do not roll over and fall off ? Simply because we are subconsciously aware of our surroundings. Same thing apply with co-sleeping. That is the main reasons why some mums aren't capable of getting a good night rest with their little ones next to them. Their subconscious are more awake and conscious than others.
Studies have shown that co-sleeping parents do not sleep as deep as non co-sleeping but they sleep longer. My daughter now sleeps in her own bed — next to mine — from bedtime until 6 in the morning, approx. When she wakes, I simply take her to my side nurse her and we fall back asleep until 9:30 /10. How awesome is that ! Especially for me who never was a morning person. We all have our own reasons to do what we do and it is always backed by love for our children. No parents knows it all, unless you've had 5 kids then i’d love to chat with you and learn from your experiences :) My point is co-sleeping work’s well for us, it isn't always easy but in the long run it makes my daughter, my husband and I happy.
Beezeemum
Of course a mother who isn't comfortable with bed sharing, who will not be able to sleep well at night shouldn't co-sleep. It is important to understand that co-sleeping isn't define by how many hours you sleep with your little ones. It can be done once a day during the afternoon nap or once a week in the morning, all depends on what feels right for you. What matters the most is that you bond with your babies.
On a related subject, I remember seeing bottle-fed babies when I was much younger — in the 90’s where mothers prompted the bottle up with a blanket so it remain in place. Being a nursing mother I completely respect and understand mothers who choose for a reason to an other to bottle-feed their kids but what I would personally do if I couldn't breastfeed where bonding comes naturally, is connecting during feeding time. I think babies need skin to skin and feel connected specially during the time that they are being fed. They need to be talked too, gently caressed, they need to feel loved and cared for.
The problem with society in regards to co-sleeping is that we are given a lot of false information. I remember seeing somewhere that bed sharing is the main cause of SIDS which is completely wrong. It isn't bed sharing that can cause SIDS but the environment you are doing it. The rules are simple, you should not co-sleep if you're a smoker, it goes without saying that you should never smoke in the room where you sleep with your baby, drinking alcohol and co-sleeping is a big no no ! Also babies should always sleep in the middle. You should insure the bed frame is safe for your child as to not fall into spaces between the mattress and headboard and lastly you should sleep with small covers, no duvet.
Living in Greece, people look down on co-sleeping, most see it as spoiling my child and others see’s it as a burden because she will always want to come and cuddle at night or in the morning. Spoiling isn't an issue for me as I have blogged before on the subject “you cannot spoil your child with love” and as for being a burden, I take joy in her presence because sooner rather then later she will be all grown up, she will leave our home to live her life or go to sleepovers, so I take every little moment I can and cherish it.
I remember my second day at the clinic. First of all I insisted on having my daughter with me at all time — they must of asked me at least five time if they could take her to allow me to rest. I can say I've had a quite easy delivery therefor it was natural for me to want her with me and it was not in my intention to go home to than realize what it intel to have a baby. I gathered that I should learn at the clinic where I could have professional help if needed be. So anyways, it was late afternoon and I fell asleep nursing with my daughter in my arms, the nurse came in horror. She woke me up as if I had committed the worst offence a mother can commit and schooled me on how my baby could have fallen on the floor because I was sleeping. As if I would ever smother or drop my precious little girl, it goes against nature and common sense. How is it that when we sleep in our bed we do not roll over and fall off ? Simply because we are subconsciously aware of our surroundings. Same thing apply with co-sleeping. That is the main reasons why some mums aren't capable of getting a good night rest with their little ones next to them. Their subconscious are more awake and conscious than others.
Studies have shown that co-sleeping parents do not sleep as deep as non co-sleeping but they sleep longer. My daughter now sleeps in her own bed — next to mine — from bedtime until 6 in the morning, approx. When she wakes, I simply take her to my side nurse her and we fall back asleep until 9:30 /10. How awesome is that ! Especially for me who never was a morning person. We all have our own reasons to do what we do and it is always backed by love for our children. No parents knows it all, unless you've had 5 kids then i’d love to chat with you and learn from your experiences :) My point is co-sleeping work’s well for us, it isn't always easy but in the long run it makes my daughter, my husband and I happy.
Beezeemum