Have you ever heard of the breath holding spell ? Me either, at least until I witness my daughter having her first one… Before I share my experiences, let me educate you one the BHS. Breath holding spell or also named apnea occurs with 5% of the population, more often than others it is triggered by anger, discomfort or pain which cause the child to turn blue or white and while exhaling they loose consciousness. They are most common in children between 6 and 18 months and usually not present after 5 years of age - which I am obviously looking forwards to - There is no major alteration of circulation or oxygenation and the recovery is usually spontaneous but it is quite scary to say the least. Especially if you've never even heard of this diagnosis.
My first encounter with Apnea was when my daughter was no less than 9 months old. We were in Asia, on board the vessel and as every night, we did our routine which is no stranger to most mums - eat, play, bathing and so on - after bath time we went on the bed to dress her and as I was putting her pyjamas on ( her back was facing me as I was buttoning her up ) I felt her going all limp in my hands - this is actually harder then I thought it would be to write, I feel I am reliving it 😔 - I turned her around and she was blue and lifeless. My first instinct was to lay her down and see if she had choked on something - nothing - the horror.
The worst feeling a mother could ever have to think their child is dying. I screamed for my husband, no answer. I picked her little body and ran in our living quarter to find him. By the time I reached him I could only say a few words “ she isn't breathing “ he looked at me as if I was crazy and took her out of my embrace telling me she looked fine to him - she had regain consciousness and I was too much under the shock of adrenaline to even realise she had in fact regain herself.
He asked me to explain what had happen but I couldn't talk - it really rock my world - and what do you do when your in shock ? Apparently, going to the bathroom and releasing urine helps… Who knew ? My husband did ! Afterwords I began shaking and the tears started to roll down my cheeks. Once I gathered myself into pieces I was able to explain what just happen the best way I could, not knowing what to even think of it myself.
First thing I did following this was jumping on google - what would we be without it - started to look for “child passing out” I found what I was looking for rather fast. I went to see the doctor who confirmed my research. She also recommend to keep a close eye for cues so that I would lay her down on her back to reduce risk of injuries.
Some say that we should put them in a safe place and leave them to it - can you imagine ? I could never do that ! "They" say that the child is doing this to manipulate us in getting their way. BTW I completely disagree. I don't know who "they" are but I'd like to have a chat with "them". I think it’s based on the child character and on the lack of being able to cope with emotions. Because, whenever my child regain consciousness she had no clue what happen or where she is. Even less why she was she even crying in the first place.
This happened quite often, maybe 2-3 times per month which is one too many if you ask me. I can barely watch movies with gruesome content even less see my own child looking like she is dying - because thats really what it looks like - sorry for the strong choice of words - I learn to cope with this situation a little better every time. I still cant look at her but I am by her side gently touching her hand or leg. I no longer panic when I see she will not be taking her breath because that was probably the worst thing to do - they can feel everything - I now can pinpoint when it will occur, for example is she is tired I know she is more susceptible to having BHS.
The funny part in all this - if there is any - is that I remember once talking to my family members through Skype about my daughter new way of expressing her anger - who was gathered during the holiday season - they told me my uncle use to have this as a child and they apparently “treated” this with a good spank to shock the child out of it’s anger - Mmm not so sure about this one haha but my uncle did gave me a trick that worked for a few months, until she grew a stronger diaphragm. His idea was to blow in her face to naturally “force” her to take a breath. In hindsight, it might not have been the best as I believe we should let our kids work through their emotions and feelings no matter how big they are but I was desperate to make it stop selfishly for my own discomfort. #honesty
I can now say that she isn't having BHS as much a before. It did however happened last week while in a shuttle taking us back to the ship after a few hours spent ashore. She kept insisting on wanting to stand on the ground instead of staying in the safety of my embrace while the bus was moving. I simply couldn't risk her being in harms way so I kept insisting for her to stay in my arms. I saw it quickly escalating, I knew she hadn't slept well and woke up early - in her case this is the worst combination - I knew what was coming. I lay her down on the seat right by mine and as usual waited for “it” to pass.
I think it is crucial to not “give in” especially in cases where there could be potential risks of the child injuring it’s self. I do wonder if apnea is indeed related to the lack of iron ? My daughter’s blood test had come up with a small shortage of iron but nothing to be alarmed - those were the words of my paediatrician - I have recently read about it and I don't think giving iron supplement will stop everything but it may help in the case your child is in fact, having iron deficiency. So once were home, in less then a month. I will in fact address this to my doc and see what she has to say. #whoknows
I truly wish for no mother to have to go through this - but if you're like me and you have a child with BHS you can take comfort in knowing you're not alone and also in the fact that this will not last forever - although it may seems like it - Lastly and most importantly your child isn't in danger. Regardless of what most people think - that it isn't dangerous for their heart - our paediatrician still recommended we underwent a few tests to make sure the “problem” wasn't heart related ( ie. arrhythmia ) we knew deep down she is a healthy child but its always nice to get that extra thumb up !
Beezeemum