We are given so much information on a day to day basis associated with many assets, most irrelevant. It can be quite overwhelming especially when you enter parenthood. It is like a torrent of advice regarding how to care, how to raise and educate our children.
The fact is, we are so insecure with new coming and the unknown we would often become dependent on well known PHD’S that most likely based their studies on theses well written rather listening to what our babies are communicating to us. I know for a fact there isn't one way for it all. You have to go accordingly to who those little humans are. So, while you may have picked up a book on a paediatrician or psychologist that truly connect with you we have to remember that it might not work with your offspring. Forcing anything onto them certainly not the solution. Ever. The “secret” is to slowdown. To be aware of cues given to us. To listen. It won’t resolve everything but it will help you become the best caregiver you can be.
You may think, I don't have time to slowdown. I’ve got work, kids, a husband, mouths to feed and a house to clean. Life is hectic. It can be overwhelming. I believe it is based on our attitude. Of course not everyday will or is perfect. That’s the beauty of it all. With perseverance we can all accomplish great things.
I’m a huge advocate of going with the flow, not really type A kinda gal. Certainly not leader spirit. Everyone who knows me can agree I am passive, calm, logic, passionate who love to laugh. I do not like confrontation or to impose on someone. I can also have a bad temper when I am tired and hungry. Becoming a mother made me realise SO many things among those are that I would have to provide discipline to my daughter. Which was frightening to me. I remember telling my husband when I was pregnant up until recently (I must attest) he would have to be the figure of authority because I had no belief within me that I could become her mentor. I read recently a book on discipline. The hole perception most of us have is wrong. We associate discipline with punishments, time-outs, yelling, confrontations and lots and lots of tears when it is in fact quite the opposite. Becoming a mother made me realise I would have to put aside being grumpy because of lack of sleep or as a result of not eating well. Her needs will become mine. I am still me. I have not changed. I only am a better version of myself. I’ve got a lot of thanking to do to a little someone ;)
While I am an advocate on being knowledgable we all need to take some and leave some. I personally like to discover new opinions, to get different aspects and of point of views. I love writing therefore I love reading :)
To conclude, I would like to return to the disciplinary topic that uplifted my attitude. It came from a book I am currently reading - therefor I will not go into detail but rather summarise their philosophy. The bestseller is No-Drama Discipline which I highly recommend ! Early in the book they explain the origin of the word discipline which come from “disciple" which means teaching, learning, giving instructions. Discipline has meant to teach, to reflect. Hence when we are sending our children in time-out they are not thinking and evaluating the “why” they are most likely thinking of how unfair their parents are and so nothing productive comes out “in the long term”. Children need guidance in accessing the “upper” part of their brain (the civilised-thinking part) which is underdeveloped from birth. They need to be shown compassion to one day become compassionate. Discipline, from their view is a complete revolution to me. I will definitely get back to this topic in further time once I have completed and lived a few examples of my own using some tools they suggest in the book. Truly a good read !
Beezeemum
You may think, I don't have time to slowdown. I’ve got work, kids, a husband, mouths to feed and a house to clean. Life is hectic. It can be overwhelming. I believe it is based on our attitude. Of course not everyday will or is perfect. That’s the beauty of it all. With perseverance we can all accomplish great things.
I’m a huge advocate of going with the flow, not really type A kinda gal. Certainly not leader spirit. Everyone who knows me can agree I am passive, calm, logic, passionate who love to laugh. I do not like confrontation or to impose on someone. I can also have a bad temper when I am tired and hungry. Becoming a mother made me realise SO many things among those are that I would have to provide discipline to my daughter. Which was frightening to me. I remember telling my husband when I was pregnant up until recently (I must attest) he would have to be the figure of authority because I had no belief within me that I could become her mentor. I read recently a book on discipline. The hole perception most of us have is wrong. We associate discipline with punishments, time-outs, yelling, confrontations and lots and lots of tears when it is in fact quite the opposite. Becoming a mother made me realise I would have to put aside being grumpy because of lack of sleep or as a result of not eating well. Her needs will become mine. I am still me. I have not changed. I only am a better version of myself. I’ve got a lot of thanking to do to a little someone ;)
While I am an advocate on being knowledgable we all need to take some and leave some. I personally like to discover new opinions, to get different aspects and of point of views. I love writing therefore I love reading :)
To conclude, I would like to return to the disciplinary topic that uplifted my attitude. It came from a book I am currently reading - therefor I will not go into detail but rather summarise their philosophy. The bestseller is No-Drama Discipline which I highly recommend ! Early in the book they explain the origin of the word discipline which come from “disciple" which means teaching, learning, giving instructions. Discipline has meant to teach, to reflect. Hence when we are sending our children in time-out they are not thinking and evaluating the “why” they are most likely thinking of how unfair their parents are and so nothing productive comes out “in the long term”. Children need guidance in accessing the “upper” part of their brain (the civilised-thinking part) which is underdeveloped from birth. They need to be shown compassion to one day become compassionate. Discipline, from their view is a complete revolution to me. I will definitely get back to this topic in further time once I have completed and lived a few examples of my own using some tools they suggest in the book. Truly a good read !
Beezeemum